I am typically a person who stuffs my true emotions and feelings about certain things. What I mean is when things happen in my life that cause me to get frustrated, hurt, or angry, I just stuff them. I may address things on my own, but I typically don’t let others help me and I don’t tell others my true feelings. I often won’t address them because, for some reason, I felt like I had to act like everything was okay. I always thought I had to be strong for everyone else. I had this misconception that because I was a Christ follower that somehow the only way my ministry would impact others was if I had it all together and walked through everything perfectly. This year changed all of that. I got to a point where the stress and season of life I was in became too much, and I had no room left to stuff down anything. I had to start coming face-to-face with my imperfect life and the brokenness that came as a result of it.
I’ve never really liked the idea that I’m broken. I would much rather be considered whole and healthy, not someone who is fractured and damaged. But life has a funny way of changing that. In fact, one of the definitions of brokenness is having given up all hope and being in despair. If there was ever a perfect definition for my life a few months ago, that would describe it perfectly. So fast forward to today, where I am fully aware of my brokenness, but choosing to embrace it for what it is and to seek out God in the process.
I am currently reading a book by Angie Smith called Mended: Pieces of a Life Made Whole. She talks about our brokenness and how to find wholeness in God, the only place we can truly find it. In the very first chapter, she talks about a time when God told her to break a pitcher and put it back together one piece at a time (I may have to try this for myself). As you can imagine, the pitcher was imperfect once she finally put it all back together. I couldn’t help but think that is an incredible illustration of our lives. Each piece is a part of our story, imperfections, tough seasons, and all. That pitcher will never be exactly the same as it was before it was broken. Not only was the pitcher now full of imperfections, it also had gaps. When I first think about that, all I can think about is the gaps need to be filled. But in her description, she says she clearly heard God tell her that the cracks are the area where God seeps out. Powerful, right?! If I had it all together and could do everything on my own, my testimony would be pretty boring and predictable. However, since I am broken and have cracks, those are the places where God is most powerful, the parts He uses as my greatest testimony.
We are all like that pitcher. At one point, we were completely whole and unbroken, but life happens. Life throws curve balls, breaks us, crushes us, and leaves us to pick up the pieces. Even though there are seasons and pieces we would like to do without, all of them are important. Each piece is a powerful part of our testimony. And where there are still holes and gaps…well, my friends, those are the places where God does His best work. This week, let’s look at brokenness a little differently. Let’s embrace it and remind ourselves that our brokenness is the thing God uses the most. It is because of being broken that we realize how desperately we need Him. In our brokenness, we really experience God’s grace, love, and mercy like never before. Allow God to help you pick up the pieces and put them back together. Then, as you stand back and look at your imperfect life, allow God to seep through the cracks and use the brokenness for something beautiful.
He heals the brokenhearted
and bandages their wounds.
Psalm 147:3 NLT
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus,
so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Ephesians 2:10 NLT