The Power of Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Pastor Matthew opened this message by reminding us that relationships carry both joy and pain. Every friendship, marriage, or family bond comes with the risk of disappointment and hurt. While culture teaches us to cancel, unfriend, and walk away, Jesus calls us to something radically different. He calls us to reconcile.

Our culture has trained us to handle hurt and disappointment in destructive ways. We live in what has been called a “cancel culture,” where people are encouraged to cut ties, unfollow, or publicly shame those who disappoint them. Pastor Matthew gave the example of online reviews, where excellent food and service were dismissed simply because the restaurant staff held a different opinion on vaccines. Culture says: if someone hurts you, cancel them.

Pastor Matthew contrasted today’s cancel culture with the teachings of Jesus. Our world often responds to pain by rejecting, shaming, or labeling people as enemies. Cancel culture prioritizes punishment over forgiveness, division over restoration, and fear of mistakes over growth.

But Jesus shows a better way. Instead of retaliating, he commands us to turn the other cheek, to walk the extra mile, and to love our enemies. This teaching is not easy—it is radical. Yet, it reflects the very heart of God. Jesus is pro-reconciliation.

Moving into Matthew 18, Jesus gave clear instructions on handling relational conflict. If someone offends you, go directly to them in private, not to social media or friends. If they listen, the relationship is restored. If not, bring trusted believers into the conversation, always with the goal of reconciliation. Even when disagreement remains, we are called to treat others with love, never as enemies.

Pastor Matthew emphasized that the goal is not to win an argument. It is to win back the relationship. He shared a personal story of conflict in his marriage, admitting his instinct was to defend himself rather than listen. In that moment, he was reminded that reconciliation requires humility, not proving a point.

Peter once asked Jesus how many times he needed to forgive, seven times? Jesus answered, not seven, but seventy-seven times, showing that forgiveness is limitless. To illustrate, he told the parable of the unforgiving servant. A king forgave a servant’s impossible debt, yet that servant refused to forgive a small debt owed to him. The king rebuked him for withholding mercy after receiving so much grace.

God has forgiven us an eternal debt through Jesus. In light of this grace, we must extend forgiveness to others. We forgive not because people deserve it, but because God forgave us first.

Forgiveness is not optional. Jesus said plainly that if we do not forgive others, we cannot expect forgiveness from God. Unforgiveness also damages us personally, making us more easily hurt and more likely to carry bitterness into every relationship. Pastor Matthew shared from his own life how unresolved hurt once led him to keep people at a distance. Only when the Holy Spirit softened his heart was he able to build healthy, life-giving relationships again.

On the other hand, forgiveness frees us. It purifies our hearts, deepens our ability to love, and becomes a powerful witness to the world. A soft heart, though vulnerable, is far better than a hard one.

Pastor Matthew closed by reminding the church that reconciliation is not something we can achieve on our own. It requires the Spirit of God working in us. When we bring our hurt to Jesus, He promises to meet us with comfort, strength, and the courage to forgive.

Reconciliation is not easy, but it is the best way to live. It heals relationships, softens our hearts, and shows the world what the love of Christ looks like.