WHEN THE CHURCH HURTS | Pastor Matthew Johnson
"God's plan is that he uses broken people to love broken people." — Pastor Matthew Johnson
A Conversation Nobody Wants to Have But Everybody Needs
Church hurt is one of the most talked-about topics in Christian culture right now. It shows up on social media. It drives people away from faith. And it is real. In this message, Pastor Matthew Johnson of The Tree Church addresses it directly, honestly, and without flinching. He does not minimize the pain. He does not explain it away. And he does not pretend it is not happening. What he does is walk through what the Bible actually says about how the church is supposed to work and what to do when it does not.
A Clear Word on Abuse
Before diving into the broader topic, Pastor Matthew paused to draw an important and necessary line. He was not talking about abuse. That is a different conversation entirely, and he wanted to say so plainly.
He read a statement directly. Abuse is evil. It is especially evil when it is carried out by people who were entrusted to love, protect, shepherd, and care for others. Churches and leaders who abuse people should be confronted, held accountable, and face consequences. The answer to abuse is never silence, protecting platforms, or pretending it did not happen. It should always be addressed with truth, justice, and care for those who were harmed.
With that established, Pastor Matthew turned to the reality that most people in a church community will face at some point. Relational hurt. The kind that happens not because of evil intent but because broken people are in relationship with other broken people.
He read a statement directly. Abuse is evil. It is especially evil when it is carried out by people who were entrusted to love, protect, shepherd, and care for others. Churches and leaders who abuse people should be confronted, held accountable, and face consequences. The answer to abuse is never silence, protecting platforms, or pretending it did not happen. It should always be addressed with truth, justice, and care for those who were harmed.
With that established, Pastor Matthew turned to the reality that most people in a church community will face at some point. Relational hurt. The kind that happens not because of evil intent but because broken people are in relationship with other broken people.
Four Levels of Hurt Inside Every Church
Pastor Matthew identified four distinct levels of hurt that exist inside every Christian community. The first and most visible is church leadership failing the members. This is what fills social media feeds when someone hashtags church hurt. A pastor, a staff member, or a leader disappointed someone, wounded them, or handled something poorly.
But he did not stop there. The second level is members hurting church leadership. Pastors are leaving full-time ministry at record numbers, and Pastor Matthew was direct about why. It is not the world pushing them out. It is people inside the church. Gossip, vindictiveness, selfishness, and cruelty from the very people a pastor pours his life into.
The third level is church members hurting each other. People who are supposed to be friends, supposed to love one another, failing to do so. And the fourth is church leaders hurting each other. Pastors fighting elders. Staff turning on staff.
He summarized it plainly. The leadership hurts the people, the people hurt the leadership, the people hurt each other, and the leaders hurt each other. That is the full picture of what church hurt actually looks like.
But he did not stop there. The second level is members hurting church leadership. Pastors are leaving full-time ministry at record numbers, and Pastor Matthew was direct about why. It is not the world pushing them out. It is people inside the church. Gossip, vindictiveness, selfishness, and cruelty from the very people a pastor pours his life into.
The third level is church members hurting each other. People who are supposed to be friends, supposed to love one another, failing to do so. And the fourth is church leaders hurting each other. Pastors fighting elders. Staff turning on staff.
He summarized it plainly. The leadership hurts the people, the people hurt the leadership, the people hurt each other, and the leaders hurt each other. That is the full picture of what church hurt actually looks like.
Four Responses and Why Three of Them Fall Short
Pastor Matthew then walked through four ways people typically respond to that reality.
The first is to go find the perfect church. He smiled at that one. The moment you find it and join it, it is no longer perfect. More importantly, that is not God's plan. God uses broken people to love broken people. A perfect church was never the goal.
The second response is to church hop. Go until something hurts you, leave, find another one, repeat. In his experience, this does not work. After two or three churches, most people just quit going altogether. And the ones who keep hopping often become some of the most wounded and toxic people in any congregation they land in.
The third response is to quit church entirely. This breaks into two paths. The first is the person who says it is now just me and Jesus. Pastor Matthew was gentle but clear. The Bible does not support that concept. You cannot find anywhere in scripture, Old Testament or New Testament, a relationship with God that exists outside of community. The second path is the person who gives up on Jesus altogether. He named this as a significant driver of the deconstruction movement. And the problem, he said, is obvious. You give up on the most important person and thing you need in your life.
That leaves the fourth option. And it is the one the entire message is built around.
The first is to go find the perfect church. He smiled at that one. The moment you find it and join it, it is no longer perfect. More importantly, that is not God's plan. God uses broken people to love broken people. A perfect church was never the goal.
The second response is to church hop. Go until something hurts you, leave, find another one, repeat. In his experience, this does not work. After two or three churches, most people just quit going altogether. And the ones who keep hopping often become some of the most wounded and toxic people in any congregation they land in.
The third response is to quit church entirely. This breaks into two paths. The first is the person who says it is now just me and Jesus. Pastor Matthew was gentle but clear. The Bible does not support that concept. You cannot find anywhere in scripture, Old Testament or New Testament, a relationship with God that exists outside of community. The second path is the person who gives up on Jesus altogether. He named this as a significant driver of the deconstruction movement. And the problem, he said, is obvious. You give up on the most important person and thing you need in your life.
That leaves the fourth option. And it is the one the entire message is built around.
The Calling: Viewing the Church the Way Jesus Intended
The fourth option is that everyone, leadership and members alike, treats the church the way Jesus actually intended it to be.
Pastor Matthew turned to 1 Corinthians 12:12-31, where Paul describes the church as a human body. One body made up of many different and individual parts, all working together for one purpose. He then read further in the passage where Paul names the kinds of people Jesus brought together in this body. Jews and Greeks. Slaves and free. Two groups that despised each other, that were confused by each other, that were racist toward each other. And Jesus said they were going to become like family.
Pastor Matthew paused on that. He talked about the connect groups at The Tree Church and how he will sometimes stop a staff conversation and ask someone to list out who is in a particular group. And when they do, his response is always the same. Where else in the world would you get that group of people together and they would be friends? Only in church. Only because of Jesus.
He read a longer statement to capture the full picture. The church was meant to be a group of people with different backgrounds, values, experiences, personalities, beliefs, goals, desires, resources, strengths, and weaknesses being brought together by Christ into a community so deeply connected and committed to one another that they function like a single human body.
The church was never meant to be a collection of like-minded consumers. It was meant to be the supernatural joining together of radically different people into a committed community so united in love and sacrifice and mutual dependence that scripture describes them as one body.
Pastor Matthew turned to 1 Corinthians 12:12-31, where Paul describes the church as a human body. One body made up of many different and individual parts, all working together for one purpose. He then read further in the passage where Paul names the kinds of people Jesus brought together in this body. Jews and Greeks. Slaves and free. Two groups that despised each other, that were confused by each other, that were racist toward each other. And Jesus said they were going to become like family.
Pastor Matthew paused on that. He talked about the connect groups at The Tree Church and how he will sometimes stop a staff conversation and ask someone to list out who is in a particular group. And when they do, his response is always the same. Where else in the world would you get that group of people together and they would be friends? Only in church. Only because of Jesus.
He read a longer statement to capture the full picture. The church was meant to be a group of people with different backgrounds, values, experiences, personalities, beliefs, goals, desires, resources, strengths, and weaknesses being brought together by Christ into a community so deeply connected and committed to one another that they function like a single human body.
The church was never meant to be a collection of like-minded consumers. It was meant to be the supernatural joining together of radically different people into a committed community so united in love and sacrifice and mutual dependence that scripture describes them as one body.
How a Consumer Culture Distorts Everything
The problem, Pastor Matthew explained, is that we have been trained by consumer culture to view ourselves as customers. We walk into every organization with resources in hand and expectations attached. The more we invest, the higher our expectations. And we do this with church without anyone ever having to teach us. We attend and expect. We serve and expect more. We give financially and expect even more in return.
Members begin to view the church as a service provider. A person or organization that exists primarily to meet their needs, preferences, and demands. And when those expectations go unmet, they take their resources somewhere else.
Leadership falls into the same trap from a different angle. The vision begins in a healthy place, genuinely seeking what God wants. But over time, people start to be viewed as organizational assets rather than as people. A means to an end. And when that happens on both sides, hurt is almost inevitable.
Members begin to view the church as a service provider. A person or organization that exists primarily to meet their needs, preferences, and demands. And when those expectations go unmet, they take their resources somewhere else.
Leadership falls into the same trap from a different angle. The vision begins in a healthy place, genuinely seeking what God wants. But over time, people start to be viewed as organizational assets rather than as people. A means to an end. And when that happens on both sides, hurt is almost inevitable.
The Action: Committing to Love
Pastor Matthew moved from calling to action. And the action Jesus calls his people to is found in John 13:34, spoken on the night he was betrayed, after washing every disciple's feet including Judas who would betray him and Peter who would deny him.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
Pastor Matthew was careful to explain what love means here. This is not the American version of love, connected to feelings and fondness. This is agape love. A mental commitment to better someone else's life. It has very little to do with emotion and everything to do with choice.
He referenced the platinum rule, a phrase he borrowed from another pastor. Everyone knows the golden rule: do for others as you would have them do for you. The platinum rule is this: do for others as Jesus has already done for you.
He also shared something personal. One of the highest priorities he carries as lead pastor is to serve his staff. He prays for each of them by name. He keeps notes on what is happening in their lives so he can follow up. He wants to love them because he knows that love will trickle down through everyone they lead and out into the entire church.
Paul puts it another way in Romans 12:10. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Make it a competition. Raise each other's value. Stop asking what the church can give you and start asking what you can give to the people around you.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
Pastor Matthew was careful to explain what love means here. This is not the American version of love, connected to feelings and fondness. This is agape love. A mental commitment to better someone else's life. It has very little to do with emotion and everything to do with choice.
He referenced the platinum rule, a phrase he borrowed from another pastor. Everyone knows the golden rule: do for others as you would have them do for you. The platinum rule is this: do for others as Jesus has already done for you.
He also shared something personal. One of the highest priorities he carries as lead pastor is to serve his staff. He prays for each of them by name. He keeps notes on what is happening in their lives so he can follow up. He wants to love them because he knows that love will trickle down through everyone they lead and out into the entire church.
Paul puts it another way in Romans 12:10. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Make it a competition. Raise each other's value. Stop asking what the church can give you and start asking what you can give to the people around you.
The Response: Reframing Church Hurt
Even when people understand the calling and choose the action, hurt will still happen. Pastor Matthew did not pretend otherwise. Inevitably, someone will offend you. Inevitably, you will offend someone else. The question is not whether it will happen. The question is how you respond when it does.
He made one reframe that matters. When a Christian community lets you down, it is not church hurt. It is relational hurt. Someone has let you down. And Jesus tells us exactly what to do when a person lets us down.
He turned to 1 Peter 4:8. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins. He pointed out who is speaking. This is Peter. The same Peter who rebuked Jesus at the last supper when he tried to wash his feet. The same Peter who fell asleep three times when Jesus needed him most. The same Peter who swung a sword at a man's head and then denied Jesus three times before morning. All in one night. Peter knows what it means to be covered by love. And he is the one saying love first.
When love comes first, Pastor Matthew explained, it changes how you listen and how you speak. When you are trying to win an argument, you listen to destroy. You look for weak points. You speak to put the other person on the defensive. But when you are trying to win the relationship, you listen to hear what is wounded. You speak to lessen the distance. You create safety so the other person can come toward you.
"To win an argument and to lose a relationship is a net loss. There nobody wins when one person wins an argument." — Pastor Matthew Johnson
Jesus makes the path clear in Matthew 18:15. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Go in love. Speak in love. Listen in love. And when that happens, reconciliation becomes possible.
He made one reframe that matters. When a Christian community lets you down, it is not church hurt. It is relational hurt. Someone has let you down. And Jesus tells us exactly what to do when a person lets us down.
He turned to 1 Peter 4:8. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins. He pointed out who is speaking. This is Peter. The same Peter who rebuked Jesus at the last supper when he tried to wash his feet. The same Peter who fell asleep three times when Jesus needed him most. The same Peter who swung a sword at a man's head and then denied Jesus three times before morning. All in one night. Peter knows what it means to be covered by love. And he is the one saying love first.
When love comes first, Pastor Matthew explained, it changes how you listen and how you speak. When you are trying to win an argument, you listen to destroy. You look for weak points. You speak to put the other person on the defensive. But when you are trying to win the relationship, you listen to hear what is wounded. You speak to lessen the distance. You create safety so the other person can come toward you.
"To win an argument and to lose a relationship is a net loss. There nobody wins when one person wins an argument." — Pastor Matthew Johnson
Jesus makes the path clear in Matthew 18:15. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Go in love. Speak in love. Listen in love. And when that happens, reconciliation becomes possible.
What the Church Can Actually Be
Pastor Matthew closed with a vision worth holding onto. When Christians fight for the health of the church, when they own their calling, choose love as their action, and go to one another in reconciliation rather than cancel culture, something changes. The church becomes what Jesus always intended it to be. An unstoppable force. A safe place to grow, to be encouraged, and to become more like Jesus.
The world's method makes everyone the victim and everyone hurt. Jesus's method gives everyone hope again.
The world's method makes everyone the victim and everyone hurt. Jesus's method gives everyone hope again.
Join Us at The Tree Church
If you are looking for a church in Lancaster, Ohio or a church in Logan, Ohio, we would love to have you join us at The Tree Church. We meet every Sunday at 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM at both of our campuses.
Lancaster Campus
721 N. Memorial Drive, Lancaster, OH 43130 | Sundays at 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM
Logan Campus
36 Hocking Mall, Logan, OH 43138 | Sundays at 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM
No matter where you are coming from or what you have been through, there is a place for you here.
Lancaster Campus
721 N. Memorial Drive, Lancaster, OH 43130 | Sundays at 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM
Logan Campus
36 Hocking Mall, Logan, OH 43138 | Sundays at 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM
No matter where you are coming from or what you have been through, there is a place for you here.
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